I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize