Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The struggles of a small town man whore
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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