She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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