You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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