At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
