my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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