i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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