You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
