Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
