i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
