Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
