if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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