i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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