ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
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