i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
