I CAN MOONWALK!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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