he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Even my vagina gasped.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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