We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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