when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
