Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
