remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
