you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
