When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
