Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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