drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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