I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
