I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
