Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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