Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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