i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
