So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
