Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
