I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
