Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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