I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
