Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
