you win again, gameday.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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