that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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