It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
