This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
