i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize