she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
