when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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