I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
