I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
