I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
