watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
