WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
