He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are we still banned from the library?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Randomize
