The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
