Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
