I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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