Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
