I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
