my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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