Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
