Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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