i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
