what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
