the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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