Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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