That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
