I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
