problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
